Friday, September 21, 2007

Snicker Doodles: A Review




I promise, this review has a "Native American" connection.

With thanks to Rod Pocowachit.

I was in the OCB in Niles, IL yesterday and for my dessert I felt like cookies. As I browsed the selection, snicker doodles caught my eye. My first thought was back to the First Nations film screening at the AIC. I had always wished I had the presence of mind to serve snicker doodles as a snack while we screened "Sleepdancer". (Anyone who has seen it will get it.)

So, in addition to three chocolate chip cookies and a small piece of cherry cheesecake (It was a buffet after all.), I grabbed a snicker doodle to try...





God, it was the best cookie, EVER!

My wife giggles at me as I immediately jump up to get some more.

Then, when I bit into the second cookie, which was as good as the first, I shit you not, over the restuarant speakers comes: "CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaan you FEEEEEEEEEEEEeeel, ....the love, ...tonight!" Yes, it was the perfect cookie biting moment.

I am smitten. Smitten by snicker doodles.

Now, I am a chocolate chip cookie man, myself. Nothing beats homemade CC cookies. For a store-bought snack, Oreos are still numeral uno in my book. But, God, these are just as good.

I have eaten sugar cookies. I have eaten butter cookies. The snicker doodles rises above these with its doughy consistancy and buttery-cinnimony flavor. I now have a three-way tie for my cookie love; Oreos, chocolate chip and now the snicker doodle. I greatly recommend.

Thanks to that "Sleepdancer" movie and Rod Pocowachit, you mad bastard.

Shoot 'Em Up - The Review (Warning: some adult content)




"You know what I really hate ...?"


No, Clive, tell us.

This silly, very bad, action cartoon asks that you never take it seriously. I didn't.

...I really, really, didn't. But in the end it was still pretty bad. But a fun bad. Even with Clive Owen doing his Tough Guy/"I'm still pissed that I'm NOT James Bond" schtick, Paul Giamatti in yet another cool-funny perfomance, AND Monica Bellucci as a prostitute, it still failed to live up to its own low expectations. I am an action movie fan. I dig me some gun battlin'. (Woo is still the best of the best. No matter how frenetic the editing that is employed. Woo created dance sequences.) I want to make an action movie. Heck, the first feature I am planning to make is an action movie, so I studied this movie. This movie seemed tired after the thirtieth or so gun battle.

Man, take it easy on the shaky-hand-held shots and micro-second cutting, we get it, it is an action-packed scene. We couldn't tell with all the loud shooting, screaming and mayhem that was going that you need to add "excitement" in the form of a camera man in the middle of a conniption and an edior with ADD. Come on.

There was a plot. Yes, there was. But it hardly bothers with it. Being bombarded with Clive's Sneer, Bellucci's Tears, and Giamatti's Leers, in between frenetically paced, cartoonish gun fights, left me feeling bored. Yep, bored. I said it. Even the Skydiving Gun Fight, a cool, original idea, is a letdown because it too is mired in the same style pacing of every other gun fight. This is the antithesis of "300", which slowed every little thing to a crawl, this amp them to minimalism. Somewhere along the line something derail between the planning and execution (hah) of this sequence.

The soundtrack rocked (Any used of AC-DC is welcomed.) but again boredom creeped in with the constant guitar riffs. Guys, how many Leone Homages do we need to suffer before we get to say "Okay you have in fact viewed other movies", how many of the so-close-you-can-see-their-eye-boogers shots do we need any how? Every action film should require one. Or less.

"Shoot 'Em Up" is still a fun bad kind of film. Because, only Monica Bellucci can imply nakedness without show us anything really, Clive's "Smith" character still brings her to climax during a shoot out, and Giamatti scowling and saying more funny-cool stuff, is fun stuff. So, if this seemed to be your bag of chips, by all means, go see it. But, be prepared to feel like you wasted your time and money on something you could TiVo off the satelitte dish in a few months.

Oh yeah, there is a newborn baby placed in constant danger. I mean, Michael Jackson dangling him off the balcony type of danger. Wait for it to show on cable for free.


Until next time: "You know what I really hate ...?"

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Scalped: Indian Country TPB - A Review

Scalped: Indian Country TPB - Veritgo Comics
DC Comic’s Vertigo Imprint collects the first five issues of Jason Aaron and RM Guera’s series "Scalped". I caught sight of this TPB in a used-book store. What surprised me was that it was a very new book, published August 1st of this year, yet already rendered to the resell shop. (Clue#1, Scoob.) The cover design alone by an artist called JOCK interested me as it featured a great big Indian in a war bonnet on the cover with a silhouette of a casino sign beneath. Classy, I thought.

Every time I have picked up a comic book with Native iconography in the past, I usually end up disappointed because the stories usually have nothing to do with the Natives on the cover. Then I read the description of the story and I thought I would give it a chance, if only to write up this review. What follows, in addition to being a review, is an exercise in disappointment. Here now, Vertigo asks you pluck down $10 for this. I will save you the cash/credit and time as I have already dropped my $5 for you.

This collected trade paperback reprints the first five issues of Jason Aaron’s series "Scalped" a comic series that takes historical elements and re-writes them to suit the fiction better. After a long absence Dashiell "Dash" Bad Horse returns to the Prairie Rose Indian Reservation in South Dakota and finds the reservation has not changed. Same old, same old. But Dash Bad Horse has a secret, is he here to cause havoc, or take part in the criminal underworld that has enveloped this reservation, where, as the very first words of the series puts it, "Where the Great Sioux Nation came to die."

That’s it. What follows, from it ubiquitous Introduction from Current Comics Genius Brian K. Vaughn, which basically says Americans can hold providence over Natives if their writing evokes enough Native-ness, to its one-dimensional depiction of Native women is basically a re-working of "Thunderheart". I found nothing to encourage others to read this.

First and foremost, I am upset that a Native writer and artist could not have done this. Because the story is a list of standard reservation clichés; there is a casino being built that will "save the people", there is the usual struggle between the "Traditionalists" and the "Sell-Outs", there are sheep-like gangs, meth, there is constant talk of "The Old Times" and the dire need to get back to them, characters monologue-ing about how it used to be, giving history lessons and reciting reservation lifestyle statistics to the reader, there is an old man who talks to "The Spirits" and at the center of it all is one BIG ANGRY INDIAN MAN. All that was missing was the constant flute music.

A Native writer would have captured the nuances of reservation life. It is not always like this, hell, it is hardly like this. Conditions are deplorable yet the Native Experience tends to survive, find the good and move on however they can. Instead, with "Scalped" we get another outsider "telling it like it is", which is basically what many non-Native readers want: grief porn.

Some will say that the majority of readers are non-Native, but, to sell them grief porn, where all we hear about is how bad and evil and fucked up it is on every reservation, everywhere to allow others to "understand" how it is, is not telling a complete truth about Native life. Strange, that then the reader can simply close the book covers and move on. If it could be so easy. It is, do not pick up this book.

Readers can probably disconnect themselves from the Native baggage by deeming it a gritty crime story or a new noir fiction. But that tends to render the true problem invisible, a problem that hides in plain sight on the cover. Of course the first thing that caught my eye in researching the bio of the writer is "...he never set foot on an Indian reservation". Here we go again, yet another non-Native writer telling it like it is on "The Rez", having never set foot or interacted with Native people.

You can do all the research you want but it will never give you that "Native Experience". Once again the authorship of expertise wins out over simply letting a Native tell the story about Natives. This comic does not do that. No matter how witty, how well-reviewed, how much Vaughn touts it as "American", this series simply does not tell the tale of Native America.

Here is an interesting side note: inside the book I found a letter from DC’s Publicity Director. The letter is address to Editor, which means it is a preview copy and why I found it on the resale rack so soon. While the Director touts Aaron’s "The Other Side" he never fails to mention how Aaron and Guera have captured the "seedy side of Indian Reservations", hinting that they are all like this and this comic confirms that. He also explains the writer is available to speak about "the political and historical significance of his new series". (Emphasis, mine.) "Historical"?

The inherent contradiction is that something set on a contemporary reservation is being touted as historical. Does Expertise replace Native Experience even in the world of comics? Which begs the question, not "why can’t non-Native authors write this?" but "Why NOT let Native creators tell their stories?" Seems simple enough. But "Scalped" is more of the same, non-Natives telling it like is about the seedy reservations while the industry pats itself on the back for its enlightened presentation. Leave this one on the shelves.


COMING SOON
: Harry Potter 5 & & Reviews!