I Watches The Watchmen - A Review

I Watches the Watchmen
A Movie Review by Ernest M. Whiteman III

You will love it or not.

That seems to be the general reaction to the latest Zach Snyder film. Once again, he does not make an Alan Moore or Dave Gibbon movie, much like "300", he simply made another Zach Snyder movie. Now, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. That is pretty much what I was expecting. How did I feel about the actual movie? Meh.

I liked the movie and I will have you know I did not really love the graphic novel either but I did like it. That will be the general excuse when it comes to liking or not liking this. Honestly, there is so much baggage with this particular graphic novel that many audiences will be divided about it. Not everyone will be completely satisfied with the movie.

Let’s see; you loved the comic and you love what Snyder did with it or you can live with the movie. You loved the comic and hated the movie and it’s differences. Me? Meh. I liked a lot of it but it did not grab me as Iron Man, X2 or the Dark Knight did.

THE GOOD:
I liked the visuals of the Watchmen but I would hardly call it visionary. Mainly because I knew they were realized in the comic book series. At times I got bored with how long he held a shot as if we would instantly recognize the framing from the comic. He did that terribly on "300", again, as if we were to break out our graphic novels and follow along.

While I liked the Nite Owl II character, he felt to be a Batman rip-off, which indeed he is meant to be in the comic, but more so in the movie because of his armored costume and pointed bat-like ears. I remember when the Trio and I saw the trailer for it in the theater, afterwards, Samantha, the oldest, remarked "They’re making too much like Dark Knight", a remark that never left my mind.

Still, I found Rorschach the most watchable character, mainly because he is given the most to do. He is the most interesting psyche to watch. Hell, I was the one to start the applause in the theater I was in when Rorschach finished his prison cafeteria rant. I am glad Jackie Earl Healey was chosen to play him. It was a good role and he fit the part, same with the actor that played Nite Owl. But, it was a little one note and tiresome, with his raspy voice and insouciance. I just hope he can build an acting career after this instead of tumbling into genre work like "A Nightmare on Elm Street".

Wow, honestly, could those be the only two things I enjoyed?

THE BAD:
I can live with the changed ending but it felt cheapened Zeidt’s goal in the manner he did accomplish it. While the condensations of the background stories worked, it all felt there were fewer nuances than the comic. He sold Zeidt short I felt. He should have gone into his background as a superhero, as an entrepreneur. Which brings me to another thing left out, the history of costumed heroes. You never get a sense of what the older heroes accomplished. You get a music video opening credits that summarizes this. It left the rest of it feeling shallow. Even punching up the blatancy of a lesbian character that was only hinted in the comic. Women kissing, this can only be for the FANBOYS!

Still, I can live with all that was left out and typically; no one will ever be satisfied with it, that is something I must re-iterate. It comes back to that "whether you liked or not liked the graphic novel" argument again. But not going into Zeidt's reasons made his motives less clear and shallow.

Honestly, cut it out with the slow motion and holding the shots too long. It’s boring. And there is another problem I had. The consequences and aftermath of the cataclysm did not seem a neat fit for me. Not like the comic, yeah, I said that. It just wasn't my cup of tea. The biggest sign that it did not have the impact it was supposed to was the fact that I am in no big hurry to see it again. It was not a homerun for me. I know for some they will say it was and I missed the point but it felt like it was trying to hard to please a certain audience and that audience either loved or hated it in context of how much they loved the comic.

It felt it was playing too much to the comic reader audience while never giving them exactly what they wanted. To me, framing Dr. Manhattan seemed a little too "Dark Knight"-esque for me. You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain, right Dr. Manhattan? That’s the burden you bear, right?

THIS REVIEW’S PLOT TWIST:
A lot of people will go in wanting to love the movie and either be disappointed or justified. Justified because of their ideology about comic book heroes and geeky way of life or of their own intellect in having read the dense graphic novel and "got it". Others will go in wanting to hate it and they will either come out converted, or justified in their idea that Alan Moore’s brilliant comic book is un-filmable.

If you are thinking that I am covering all my bases with that particular critique trying to blunt any argument while at the same time not giving you anything sustentative in regards to how I felt about the movie Watchmen, well then, you got exactly what I got out of the Watchmen Movie.

I either loved it or not.

Recommend?

Here an image from my forthcoming trailer for "Watchgirls".

Charlotte's Happy Fry.